Where the Earth Meets the Sky

I dream of venturing
Into far off places
Browzing Zillow for cheap houses
But knowing it will never be Colorado
Where at night the lights
twinkle up the mountain
And become where the Earth meets the sky

Delaware Drive

1405, old home
Someone else's now
Place where family fell apart
Filled with trees
I was too weak to climb
1405, 4-year-old crying
In the basement with Mommy
After Daddy's drunken rage
1405, the house of moths
Doors left open in place
of arguments
Doors without screens
1405, we all learned
To walk on shells
Crunch, crunch
Sometimes, hide-and-seek
In the dark
Childhood happiness
hiding moments of pain
Mastiff loyalist
Squishing us in bed
Running between us
When rough housing
Wish we'd had her when
Fists hit Mommy
Lacrimosa
A good soundtrack for trauma

A form of self-love

Frame the eyes for all
to see your beauty; blue-gray
Liquid eyeliner

Pure Obsessional

Just trying to talk
Thoughts; an invasive species
Interrupting me

Kitty Bitty

Little ball of fur
The softest motor around
Boy who likes to purr

Missing

Distance between us
Lingering fear; disconnect
Longing for closeness

Depression

Depression just bores
Did taxes and nothing more
Roast onion dinner

Tremble

Quaking in my skin
Sometimes anxiety wins
Recounting false sins

Hirsute

1 in 14 women
Face societal shame on
Upon their face
Shaving, waxing, plucking
It's not something to discuss
Use salt scrub after shaving
To burn your face away
But makeup goes on smoothly
The next day
An attempt to hide razor bumps
Only somewhat successful
People stare in grocery stores
It shouldn't really matter
But it makes you carry shame
It's only superficial you say to yourself
But it doesn't change a body's betrayal
Of yourself

Denile

River in Egypt
Poison from one thousand snakes
A heart locked down tight

Steam

Running out of steam
Wondering if my next idea will be inspired
Running out of steam
Didn't post yesterday's poem, it felt uninspired
Running out of steam
Don't know if I can keep up with this challenge
Running out of steam

Lights

With the invention of the electric light
There was light pollution
But the stars with the most brilliance still
Break through
How many millions of stars are we blind to
How melancholic

Writer's Block

Writer's block is false
So they say it is so, oh
It seems real to me

Love Letter to Myself

In the fullness of time, it will be realized
Though you do not want to wait
It will be a blessing to build rather than wane
Though sometimes it will feel as your bane
Through perpetuity it will be found
Eventually, you will wear your crown
Perhaps not in the time you wanted
But oh, my love, it will be beautiful
Learn to speak, find your voice
You found safety in silence
You found security in solace
Though now you need look outside yourself
Beloved, do not be afraid
In the moments when fear comes
Put on your face, and be brave
You are stronger than you believe
You will be triumphant when you face the dark
But now you must embark
Follow the path that leads to stars
You can carry more within your heart
Oh, beloved, you are stronger than you know
Though the chasms made out doubt
They have really made you stout
Oh, beloved. You need not walk alone
Though the path may seem more perilous
Strength is found in love
Beloved, do not walk alone
Beloved, do not walk alone

Push on

Keep in mind what you have to learn
There is more than what the job entails
Find the joys that escape your grasp
Though the effort may drag you across rasps
Exhaustion pulls at every limb
Though your mind will try to fight
You can win at this plight

Outside of yourself

Outside of yourself
There is a world
Outside of yourself
There are people
Outside of yourself
There is more than you fear
Outside of yourself
There is more
Outside of the scars that mar inside
There is more

Anxiety

Thoughts swirling all the time
Fears within that like to bind
Peeling away like an orange rind
Trying to contain the mind
Not to let eat you up inside
Find your core and ground yourself
You know who you are, not anyone else
Try to trust where you learned not
People focus on their own self
Learn to trust where you have been wrought
Tenderly undress the wounds
Learn yourself how not to bruise
Though parts of your soul have been confused
Learn how to look outside yourself
Thoughts may spiral outside control
But you can learn to take hold
And just let go

Chasm

You watched the stars within me collapse,
And you laughed.
The black holes left a void miles wide
I expected you to try and fix it
but you never really apologized
At least if you had
You wouldn't have done it again,
and again, and again, and again
The chasms won't be easily buried
but I can fill them without your
corruption

Black holes

Oh my darling dear
Stars should not become black holes
Don't let it eat hearts

Stars

Cut your heart open and let the stars spill out
The world has filled you with such doubt
But you are the magic of when constellations collide
If only you could see the galaxies you hide within your skin
You are more than your darkest sins
The stars aren't what keep you up at night
Beautiful daughter of the moon
Rise up from the shackles of despair
The fallen stars lead back to you
See all you are release your pain
Place the stars back from whence they came