Dreams in Starlight

I dream a little bit of starlight 

I dream a little bit of you

But perhaps it's all in

My mind

I know nothing of you 

Just wish to study you

For you are glorious

Perhaps I am superficial after all

But here I am adrift in space

Jetpack out of gas

I find myself pulled in by 

Your gravity

Afraid I'll burn up 

In your atmosphere 

But who knows

Perhaps death would be worth it

All is know is my clicking game is

Becoming obsolete when mutual friends 

Suggests your stalker or those you stalk

Perhaps you already know 

Perhaps dreaming of starlight does not

Mean I'll burn up

I dream a little bit of starlight 

I dream a little bit of you

Finding

I dream sweet dreams
But not of myself
I dream of worship
that will never
come
For I have never
worshiped myself
This makes me
wonder
I pick up hobbies
When I am not good
When they are not
easy
I throw them away
They do not bring
me a love I
desire
Do I seek love
It does not
seem
It doesn't make you
a narcissist to love
yourself
I don't want to
keep developing interests
to just give them up
I deserve more
Dream a little dream of me

Awaken

The wind whispers and tickles my nose
Perhaps you are expecting almighty prose
No. It is just I. The one who occasionally
attempts to create.
Though I am no ethereal one.
There is nothing I can do for you
I cannot bring back what has been lost
Though perhaps I am someone
you remembered from a distant dream
I hope I can help you somehow
to awaken forgotten desires
dream a little dream of me.

Inbetween

Stuck between two worlds
Needing to acknowledge the shift
In my mind
Longing to tell you a truth
Not wanting to subsist on
Approval
Slipping between two worlds
Wondering where I best fit
Too afraid to speak
A child with clipped wings
When I say I don't know
I really do
I'm just not sure what you'll
Do once I tell you
Cracking, cracking
I am only meant for one world
I know you'll still love me if I go
I don't want to argue with you
Part of me not wanting to say
Goodbye
But I feel one way is strong and true
One way is freedom
I remember what you told me
But I believe you have forgotten
I don't want to confront you
It was so long ago
You can love outside the confines of
Rules
Though I know you love me
All it ever did was trap
What am I outside the trap
I guess there will only be one way to know

Waiting on a Dream

I want to know you
But I don't know you
Do I know me
I think I know me
Sometimes I wonder
If really I need to learn
To be happy on my own
Just waiting on a dream
Waiting on a dream
Waiting for this dream
To be become real
Is this just another obsession
Or a misguided way to pull
Myself from a long known depression
Do you dream too
Do you long to know me
As I long to know you
Though none of us know anything at all
Waiting on a dream
Just waiting a dream
Waiting for this dream
I hope someday we find each other
And know a dream much different
Than this current constant pining
Do you want to know me
I long to know you
I want to know you
I want to know you

Where the Earth Meets the Sky

I dream of venturing
Into far off places
Browzing Zillow for cheap houses
But knowing it will never be Colorado
Where at night the lights
twinkle up the mountain
And become where the Earth meets the sky

Delaware Drive

1405, old home
Someone else's now
Place where family fell apart
Filled with trees
I was too weak to climb
1405, 4-year-old crying
In the basement with Mommy
After Daddy's drunken rage
1405, the house of moths
Doors left open in place
of arguments
Doors without screens
1405, we all learned
To walk on shells
Crunch, crunch
Sometimes, hide-and-seek
In the dark
Childhood happiness
hiding moments of pain
Mastiff loyalist
Squishing us in bed
Running between us
When rough housing
Wish we'd had her when
Fists hit Mommy
Lacrimosa
A good soundtrack for trauma

A form of self-love

Frame the eyes for all
to see your beauty; blue-gray
Liquid eyeliner

Pure Obsessional

Just trying to talk
Thoughts; an invasive species
Interrupting me

Kitty Bitty

Little ball of fur
The softest motor around
Boy who likes to purr

Missing

Distance between us
Lingering fear; disconnect
Longing for closeness

Depression

Depression just bores
Did taxes and nothing more
Roast onion dinner

Tremble

Quaking in my skin
Sometimes anxiety wins
Recounting false sins

Hirsute

1 in 14 women
Face societal shame on
Upon their face
Shaving, waxing, plucking
It's not something to discuss
Use salt scrub after shaving
To burn your face away
But makeup goes on smoothly
The next day
An attempt to hide razor bumps
Only somewhat successful
People stare in grocery stores
It shouldn't really matter
But it makes you carry shame
It's only superficial you say to yourself
But it doesn't change a body's betrayal
Of yourself

Denile

River in Egypt
Poison from one thousand snakes
A heart locked down tight

Steam

Running out of steam
Wondering if my next idea will be inspired
Running out of steam
Didn't post yesterday's poem, it felt uninspired
Running out of steam
Don't know if I can keep up with this challenge
Running out of steam

Lights

With the invention of the electric light
There was light pollution
But the stars with the most brilliance still
Break through
How many millions of stars are we blind to
How melancholic

Writer's Block

Writer's block is false
So they say it is so, oh
It seems real to me

Love Letter to Myself

In the fullness of time, it will be realized
Though you do not want to wait
It will be a blessing to build rather than wane
Though sometimes it will feel as your bane
Through perpetuity it will be found
Eventually, you will wear your crown
Perhaps not in the time you wanted
But oh, my love, it will be beautiful
Learn to speak, find your voice
You found safety in silence
You found security in solace
Though now you need look outside yourself
Beloved, do not be afraid
In the moments when fear comes
Put on your face, and be brave
You are stronger than you believe
You will be triumphant when you face the dark
But now you must embark
Follow the path that leads to stars
You can carry more within your heart
Oh, beloved, you are stronger than you know
Though the chasms made out doubt
They have really made you stout
Oh, beloved. You need not walk alone
Though the path may seem more perilous
Strength is found in love
Beloved, do not walk alone
Beloved, do not walk alone

Push on

Keep in mind what you have to learn
There is more than what the job entails
Find the joys that escape your grasp
Though the effort may drag you across rasps
Exhaustion pulls at every limb
Though your mind will try to fight
You can win at this plight